Inspires! It's here

 As I discover myself through works and other things to do. I find myself discovering the strongest and weakest version of me. I ponder that being me means being vulnerable to changes that entails pain, sadness, or even despair. As I walked through the doors of self-discovery, I pass through different version of myself. I encountered the crazy one, the pathetic one, the judger, the righteous, the holy, the unworthy, the sinful, the pity one, the ugly, the hopeless, the hopeful, the god of my own, the needy, the prayerful, the hypocrite, the lonely, and the person who only wants happiness in this world. These different versions of me proved that I am human. Prone to error and too far from perfection. I sometimes wonder, how can I maintain this happiness of accepting me despite of all the changes happening in my life? Or perhaps, can I be happier than the ideas inside of my head that define what really is happiness? I am prone to comparison. A competition of being perfect and enough....

Communication entails a great deal of understanding and relationship. It creates a positive aspect between the communicator and the receiver. It helps in expressing both ideas perfectly, concluding into something more alive in words than just passive talking.  As I noticed friends talking with each other, a spark of communication cannot be diminished. Because communication plays a crucial role in organizing thoughts of camaraderie and the freedom of expressing oneself, it catalyzes a more artistic form of expression, laughing. As people communicate, ideas are brought up, and giving life to words has become the epitome of communication which transforms into action leading to more secure partnerships and community building. But some people are not just so blessed with communication, some do not choose to be confined in an area where they are not heard nor seen. Some are not just into words of expression themselves that s/he is sad just denying the fact that s/he needs them.  I j...

As I ponder about life and its intricate meaning of things. I thought of something that had yet to be considered for a long time. A thought that usually resembles my feeling of belonging, belonging to existing. Existence, how I do not understand.  Existence is a major thought of any person. Why am I here? What am I doing here? What is my mission? How can I know that it is my purpose? How will I understand my purpose? They say that a life without purpose is meaningless. Perhaps, it is the truth. Life without a compass is a wind without direction, it just simply wishes where it will go and just suddenly vanish in an instant. No purpose or meaning at all. It exists here today and will be gone tomorrow! What a meaningless life! A life full of emptiness! As I ponder on Jesus' journey towards His main mission to save the lost, I believe He sometimes had this question "Are these people worth saving?" Or "Are these people worth his effort, time, and eternal life?". Yet,...

 In the essence of everything, people try to live as though they try to complete something that is already been created to be a void. As the people try to rush on things in regards to christmas, i noticed how people kept talking with each other. They find comfort in some words from friends, family, or even some random people. They try to fill this gap of emptiness. The void that tends to absorb their whole being, their entirety of who they are. They just kept on looking, looking at something that they might possess or perhaps, some things that they will never be. As they try to find it, they stumble and fall and find another thing after another. Collecting and collecting and collecting just to fill that void. That big hole they try to cover. That hole that is always present yet intentionally not to be seen. That hole that may define the entirety of the reason on why they exist. That whole that always point to something that they will not eventually fill.  As they gaze to some ...

"Death is inevitable". A phrase that always pops up in my mind. A line that always scares me yet gives me wisdom to always view life as it is. I wonder how this phrase really creeps the hell out of me. As if all my achievements, successes, valor, or even those tiny wonders that I did great were just been silenced.  I also wonder how the phrase itself gives the resounding lesson of "you only live once" to me. It emphasizes how I should live my life in the best possible way. Exploring and destroying the fear and anxiousness inside to try something different and enjoy the moments of adventure. Perhaps, this gives me a notion that life is a mystery box that needs courage and perseverance to be opened and expect something that might scare, surprise, or even hurt me. It is like wandering through time and space and expecting something that might be expected or maybe the other way around. Death. A hurtful end of life or a happy beginning of the hereafter. A sad ending full ...

 Feeling lonely and having a sense of passion depletion is difficult. You tend to be so fine with your current state, yet you live a life of complete darkness and emptiness. Some days you are at your best, but most days you just lost all the passion that you intend to have. And right now, I am totally living in a blurred line. Moreover, I just need to do something I do not want to because that is what I need to do and not what I chose. I have been experiencing this turmoil since last year. I do not know what my future holds or even what my future will be. I always wanted to become a registered somebody yet, fate never planned something like that for me. Instead, I am now on a different path. Truly speaking, the path gives me a wonderful expression that more opportunities will come my way but as I go on day by day, I just complacently do what I need to do and not what I choose to do. I just really missed my undergraduate studies, those years are amazing because I have some inner rea...

 I am emotionally draining and feel like dying. I am tired! Tired of overthinking again and again. I feel like a failure. A defeat! A Victoriously failure being. Perhaps overthinking just made its way. I am tired! I do not know and no words can ever compare my sadness now. I am intoxicated with despair and sorrow! I am tired!  I want to sleep! I want to climb and never return! I desire to escape! I desire to give this life to someone who is well deserving! I just want to go home! To that quiet place of peace and love. - The Overthink thinks of Overthink

"Words are powerful weapons to express. It may bring joy or despair."       In the midst of uncertainty and displeasure, I found myself so intrigued by the fact that I am still hurting and trying to heal myself from the bruises of the past. Those hurt are still creeping in and trying to devour the entirety of me. Fighting and trying to fit in this calling or vocation as they say. Words are difficult to express the pain and guilt I have at the same time. I am tired and trying to be alright. I know that in this fight, either of the two is expressed, win or lose.       As I ponder around and see the beauty of my surroundings, I can still feel that I am living. I am still breathing and have been awakened by the fact that maybe there are reasons in this world. Those reasons might be essential and even of something worth of risks. Maybe overthinking hits hard against me always pondering about those things that are of different views.     ...

       Memories takes turn about being good or bad. Sometimes, they seemingly open way for doors in healing or hurting. They emphasized the sense of hope and despair. They looked on the bright or dark side of the individual's views and perceptions.       Memories can be overwhelmingly wonderful but destructive. They point out our strengths yet regrets our decisions. They empowered us but also, deny the capabilities we may certainly achieve if and only if we never gave up. Memories are products of our experiences and the recent nows of our pasts.       Now, what do you think of memories by the way?

  Let me start these words with a question in my mind. A question that people may tend to overlook but does matter. I do not know if you are with me on this but, it sometimes crept into the most fundamental question of my inner being. Perhaps, overthinking may connote an unhealthy form of the imagination but often, it displaces a particular person from the world of an idea into the hold of reality. My question is, "Am I a toxic person?". A notion that destroys the totality of my being but rebuilds the confidence within me. I do not understand.  Why some people put a barrier when somebody only desires a strong connection for them? Isn't that ironic? Others are praying to have a relationship like that but, some are only taking it for granted. As I meditated on its essence, I have found out that the answer lies not on the person giving but, on the person receiving it. The real query must be to the person receiving it. It might be of the experiences or maybe on the recent for...

"Sometimes, the pain has a way to not just destroy the good in you but, to expose the darkest unforgiven part of your heart." It was days or months since I had forgiven that person. It was beautiful progress with so much joy and happiness. I decided to open up my heart and understand the way things should be because it must be. I never really thought about anything to think about it again because I had already forgiven it. I did not realize after that event, things changed the way it was. I started to notice the big chasm between the person and me. I tried to think all over again about what was the problem but, nothing in my mind ever came out. Guilt and shame started to linger on me as if am convicted of something not sure of what crime.  A trifling reason for miscommunication was all the possible reasons but now, I am the one struggling with its adverse effects.  I prayed and humbled myself many times and  say the words "I forgive you" but, here I am sinking in th...

                       Have we ever felt like we are sinking in the water of problems of our very lives? As if we are drowning and even barely breathing. We are like that coin being thrown in the water and just keep on getting sinking. We even imagined our past that keeps on reminding us that we are a failure. We are losers and we will never ever float from our problems. We have prayed and prayed but nothing happened. We just keep on getting below that drastic waters of difficulty. We experienced total hardships in life but seemed not enough. Then, we questioned God.                         We start complaining about the things that we wanted yet never had. We argue our rights and what we believe in. We even told Him that He does not know everything we have been through. We sounded even more than Him. We act as if we are wiser than of His own t...

                 We all make different ways on how to deal with things. Sometimes, we chose the least because we can not accept the fact that we are more than capable of what we imagine. We forget who we are and what we can do. We do things not on what we desire and dream but on what has been dictated for us to do. We never realized because of life's reality of seeing it pragmatically as differently as we are. We are all born with the brightest future if we only know the One who created it for us. We are not slaves. We are human beings having the mind and intellect to choose the path of the best future. We should not let ourselves be dictated by the opinions of other people. Be firm to what we believe in and having the unyielding mind to achieve the thing we always wanted. Having the right attitude and focus together with faith in God through Christ Jesus, we will surely go to the fate from which He already ordained us to have. We only n...

                        The problems of procrastination really crept the productivity that I should achieve. These problems gave rise to the most disastrous thing that I should never have been part of. That unwanted and deadly thing is the mediocrity. The Mediocrity of things that I should have been portraying as the best of I am. The things that I feel to be a professional, but yet when procrastination attacks I felt so overwhelmed and just continue saying later, perhaps never doing it. This problem really destroyed my strategy on organizing things, being logical and critical, and practicing which makes not really a perfect job but an excellent work.                         It started when I was in high school. It was in my first year or grade seven now. Our teacher instructed us to create a portfolio of our work consisting of test papers, assignme...

    Do not listen. Yes, they are somehow correct when they tell you things of now to improve yourself, indeed, they seemed right, you have managed to figure it out but do not listen. Listening in the form of changing yourself for what they see is right, no, do not do it. Do not listen if they only try to destroy the light which is inside you, the unique you instead, learn to weigh on what they say. Trust the lesson they implicitly try to show but do not change yourself because they see it as a deficient from you. You are enough.     Hey, I know that many times you are just wondering if the actions you just created are enough or almost to their expectations. You sometimes try to live in their views, opinions, and even the smallest suggestions. The funny thing is that unknowingly, they just little by little destroying that big and awesome dream you have in your heart. They also sometimes steal that burning passion and dedication you have as your identity and left you e...

  I am not a priority, I am neither an option, I am second-class, Perhaps, does not make a fuss. I am not a priority, So please do not look at me, Away from your eyes maybe, Shall I go with glee? I am not a priority, And no, do not bear with me, You do not need me, So please, keep away from me. I am not a priority, For now, perhaps, Sooner, you will chase me, You will become my tail for at least an eternity. With love, Now or present, for that is what you call me.

As the sun gets brighter, As the sky becomes clearer, As the darkness bid goodbye, So my soul yearns and desires. As the rivers become pure, As the birds sing sweeter, There my spirit tries to wonder, That my eyes be amazed and wondered. Oh, how delightful life may be, How divine the world could be, And how I smile out of glee, Sometimes I think that might it be a dream, maybe? And now I awoke, Turning this head around, Wishing it somehow, But as I look in the mirror, it was all just a frown.

 I know you are hurting, I know you are doubtful. I know you wish you were someone, I know you just wished. I know sometimes you act carelessly, I do not like it. I know sometimes you are only explaining, But you are shouting. You wish that you would somehow accept things, You also wish if only a time machine exists. You wish to change the past, You wish to achieve your dreams. You only wish things because you knew they will not come true, You only wish if it were good for you. You have not realized how good things were, You also have not realized the things of now. You are selfish, self-centered, and undesirable as they say, You have not opened your eyes to the people who loved you. People who only hope and desire good things for you, And they that always pray and bless you. God and your family who are always around you, You have just closed your heart, and then your mind. But here we are, always available for you, Please, I beg, do not wish right now for we know you.

  Tired yet inspired, I am both. Tired yet inspired, How can it be? Struggling yet joyful, Breaking yet smiling. Hiding yet being bold, Well, I can be. Tired and uninspired. Being beautiful is tiring, Being ugly is devastating, Asking how, why, and when is burning. Too much blessing may it seem, Too much agony may it appear. But do you know what really hurts, It is dying yet living ...

Nature is beauty, Love, which is its society. Peace in its harmony, Joy as it can be. Nature is Someone's masterpiece, A splendor work of art. Forge out of nothing, Something irreplaceable. Nature, full of bounty, Created from the calmness. The waves of the seas, And the quietness of the mountains. Some say it just appeared, while others believed that forces maybe that way. But for me, as I know, Nature is the work of Someone greater. Someone who is real, Someone who risked just to save it,  And that includes you and me.