Procrastination: Its Tool Against Me

                    The problems of procrastination really crept the productivity that I should achieve. These problems gave rise to the most disastrous thing that I should never have been part of. That unwanted and deadly thing is the mediocrity. The Mediocrity of things that I should have been portraying as the best of I am. The things that I feel to be a professional, but yet when procrastination attacks I felt so overwhelmed and just continue saying later, perhaps never doing it. This problem really destroyed my strategy on organizing things, being logical and critical, and practicing which makes not really a perfect job but an excellent work.

                    It started when I was in high school. It was in my first year or grade seven now. Our teacher instructed us to create a portfolio of our work consisting of test papers, assignments, and the best work we had. We were lucky since it had been given to us four months before the deadline. Hence, our teacher also told us that he already planned to give to us beforehand for us to create the most beautiful project ever, enhancing our creativity and imagination, having an advantage of the time, and expecting so much from us since we were the first section. It was more than okay considering this big opportunity.

                    Some of my classmates started doing the project. While others did not care at all and were just waiting days before the deadline cramming. The former was my dream and ideal personality but the latter was my touched reality. I unwaveringly waiting for the last days to get me on my feet in perfecting the project. I have tried to make a gigantic difference but my mindset was too lazy and can not work out.  After several days, I decided to get it all done but unfortunately, it was already two days left. In making sure that the work must be done, my body started to work this what they call adrenaline rush. And because of that, I did not notice that my desire and willingness to make it as beautiful as ever plan was never my purpose at all. It was quite a predicament and was really a disaster.

                      The deadline came and it was time to give it to the rightful judge, the teacher. A heart-pounding moment full of an unexplainable burst of emotions. I felt too proud and an overwhelming arrogance consumed my heart for the reason that I did it only for two days. It was unusual for me that any negative thought never formed in my mind and felt like a reigning king of imagination and creativity. After a while, the results came. The moment of truth just arose. All of us listened eagerly as the teacher dictated the outcome of our masterpiece. And suddenly, my turn came but, it was a shame. Instead of proclaiming how good I am, the message of reality slapped me on my face saying that I have a shallow score. I have never realized how ugly and unplanned my work was. I felt guilty and ashamed to myself, the teacher, and the classmates around me. A repentant heart arose within me. My ego and pride had been swallowed up and dismay and fear started to reign at the bottom of my proud heart. Yet, it was late before I figured it out. I was totally out of sense and having no hope at all in just a moment. I just felt totally numb and can not even speak.

                       The teacher might have been mad but instead of showing it to me, he just smiled and said in a distinct soft voice that it is fine. He also added that nobody is perfect and at least I have learned the lesson because of this painful experience. He emphasized that I should not be grieving because of it, instead I should make it as an example to continue pursuing my outstanding best in everything I do if possible.

                        After that day, I started to value the three important things I have acquired to understand which are the time, effort, and faith. Time is the most abused thing in the world and just cannot be bought in any amount of money or even life itself. The effort suggests that whatever I do, always be the best version of it and ready to excel in desiring and giving the whole if possible. Then, I have the faith, in which all you can do is to have a deep commitment to God, knowing that you did everything you could and it is now in His hand to make it all work out. And as they say, even the mustard-sized faith can move a mountain. And so I realized and started learning.

                        Now, do you have any experience with procrastination? Feel free to share.