Did I really forgive?

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"Sometimes, the pain has a way to not just destroy the good in you but, to expose the darkest unforgiven part of your heart."

It was days or months since I had forgiven that person. It was beautiful progress with so much joy and happiness. I decided to open up my heart and understand the way things should be because it must be. I never really thought about anything to think about it again because I had already forgiven it. I did not realize after that event, things changed the way it was. I started to notice the big chasm between the person and me. I tried to think all over again about what was the problem but, nothing in my mind ever came out. Guilt and shame started to linger on me as if am convicted of something not sure of what crime. 

A trifling reason for miscommunication was all the possible reasons but now, I am the one struggling with its adverse effects.  I prayed and humbled myself many times and say the words "I forgive you" but, here I am sinking in the dungeon of uncertainty. I do not know what to say or even think. A mere yet absurd rationale but, I was left questioning the very nature of its existence. It was a downfall. 

I thought that maybe some wounds are not healed instantly the way I want them to be. Or perhaps, it takes time and lots of hidden medicine to restore it once again. Or maybe, I was all wrong and, it is just a product of the overthinking mind that makes things worse.

Are we on the same verge of experience? Kindly do tell me.

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