Passion Depletion

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 Feeling lonely and having a sense of passion depletion is difficult. You tend to be so fine with your current state, yet you live a life of complete darkness and emptiness. Some days you are at your best, but most days you just lost all the passion that you intend to have. And right now, I am totally living in a blurred line. Moreover, I just need to do something I do not want to because that is what I need to do and not what I chose.

I have been experiencing this turmoil since last year. I do not know what my future holds or even what my future will be. I always wanted to become a registered somebody yet, fate never planned something like that for me. Instead, I am now on a different path. Truly speaking, the path gives me a wonderful expression that more opportunities will come my way but as I go on day by day, I just complacently do what I need to do and not what I choose to do. I just really missed my undergraduate studies, those years are amazing because I have some inner reasons to continue my studies but now, I am more on just submitting. I hate it. But, I have no choice because I already signed the contract and I need to finish these two years. But if I decided not to pursue this opportunity, I would be stuck forever at my old work and might be complacent about my job, which I also hated. 

I am already a licensed professional but I realized that I am not into this. I more unto something I do not know. How I wish I could grasp my inner self and discover things that are hidden in me. But, I need to continue now. 

Also, I am so thankful for this writing I am doing because it lets me breathe. It gives me time to process my hurt and gives me more time to uncover myself. I hope this will also lead me into becoming the real person I am going to be and not be influenced by those external forces anymore. 

Can you help me find that inner passion I can hold on to? 



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