Posts

Happiness: What really is it?

 As I discover myself through works and other things to do. I find myself discovering the strongest and weakest version of me. I ponder that being me means being vulnerable to changes that entails pain, sadness, or even despair. As I walked through the doors of self-discovery, I pass through different version of myself. I encountered the crazy one, the pathetic one, the judger, the righteous, the holy, the unworthy, the sinful, the pity one, the ugly, the hopeless, the hopeful, the god of my own, the needy, the prayerful, the hypocrite, the lonely, and the person who only wants happiness in this world. These different versions of me proved that I am human. Prone to error and too far from perfection. I sometimes wonder, how can I maintain this happiness of accepting me despite of all the changes happening in my life? Or perhaps, can I be happier than the ideas inside of my head that define what really is happiness? I am prone to comparison. A competition of being perfect and enough....

Communication: its social dilemma

Communication entails a great deal of understanding and relationship. It creates a positive aspect between the communicator and the receiver. It helps in expressing both ideas perfectly, concluding into something more alive in words than just passive talking.  As I noticed friends talking with each other, a spark of communication cannot be diminished. Because communication plays a crucial role in organizing thoughts of camaraderie and the freedom of expressing oneself, it catalyzes a more artistic form of expression, laughing. As people communicate, ideas are brought up, and giving life to words has become the epitome of communication which transforms into action leading to more secure partnerships and community building. But some people are not just so blessed with communication, some do not choose to be confined in an area where they are not heard nor seen. Some are not just into words of expression themselves that s/he is sad just denying the fact that s/he needs them.  I j...

Purpose: The Journey

As I ponder about life and its intricate meaning of things. I thought of something that had yet to be considered for a long time. A thought that usually resembles my feeling of belonging, belonging to existing. Existence, how I do not understand.  Existence is a major thought of any person. Why am I here? What am I doing here? What is my mission? How can I know that it is my purpose? How will I understand my purpose? They say that a life without purpose is meaningless. Perhaps, it is the truth. Life without a compass is a wind without direction, it just simply wishes where it will go and just suddenly vanish in an instant. No purpose or meaning at all. It exists here today and will be gone tomorrow! What a meaningless life! A life full of emptiness! As I ponder on Jesus' journey towards His main mission to save the lost, I believe He sometimes had this question "Are these people worth saving?" Or "Are these people worth his effort, time, and eternal life?". Yet,...

The Void

 In the essence of everything, people try to live as though they try to complete something that is already been created to be a void. As the people try to rush on things in regards to christmas, i noticed how people kept talking with each other. They find comfort in some words from friends, family, or even some random people. They try to fill this gap of emptiness. The void that tends to absorb their whole being, their entirety of who they are. They just kept on looking, looking at something that they might possess or perhaps, some things that they will never be. As they try to find it, they stumble and fall and find another thing after another. Collecting and collecting and collecting just to fill that void. That big hole they try to cover. That hole that is always present yet intentionally not to be seen. That hole that may define the entirety of the reason on why they exist. That whole that always point to something that they will not eventually fill.  As they gaze to some ...

Death

"Death is inevitable". A phrase that always pops up in my mind. A line that always scares me yet gives me wisdom to always view life as it is. I wonder how this phrase really creeps the hell out of me. As if all my achievements, successes, valor, or even those tiny wonders that I did great were just been silenced.  I also wonder how the phrase itself gives the resounding lesson of "you only live once" to me. It emphasizes how I should live my life in the best possible way. Exploring and destroying the fear and anxiousness inside to try something different and enjoy the moments of adventure. Perhaps, this gives me a notion that life is a mystery box that needs courage and perseverance to be opened and expect something that might scare, surprise, or even hurt me. It is like wandering through time and space and expecting something that might be expected or maybe the other way around. Death. A hurtful end of life or a happy beginning of the hereafter. A sad ending full ...

Passion Depletion

 Feeling lonely and having a sense of passion depletion is difficult. You tend to be so fine with your current state, yet you live a life of complete darkness and emptiness. Some days you are at your best, but most days you just lost all the passion that you intend to have. And right now, I am totally living in a blurred line. Moreover, I just need to do something I do not want to because that is what I need to do and not what I chose. I have been experiencing this turmoil since last year. I do not know what my future holds or even what my future will be. I always wanted to become a registered somebody yet, fate never planned something like that for me. Instead, I am now on a different path. Truly speaking, the path gives me a wonderful expression that more opportunities will come my way but as I go on day by day, I just complacently do what I need to do and not what I choose to do. I just really missed my undergraduate studies, those years are amazing because I have some inner rea...

Overthinking Overthinks

 I am emotionally draining and feel like dying. I am tired! Tired of overthinking again and again. I feel like a failure. A defeat! A Victoriously failure being. Perhaps overthinking just made its way. I am tired! I do not know and no words can ever compare my sadness now. I am intoxicated with despair and sorrow! I am tired!  I want to sleep! I want to climb and never return! I desire to escape! I desire to give this life to someone who is well deserving! I just want to go home! To that quiet place of peace and love. - The Overthink thinks of Overthink